I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
