My Higher Power is John Stamos
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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