listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
