yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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