to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
