I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
how does that bad decision feel?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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