The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
