I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
