Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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