I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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