If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
