my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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