Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
