Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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