sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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