Got a toothbrush?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
