apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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