I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
