see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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