Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
