I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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