just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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