Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
