I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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