im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize