I wannas sexs uuuuu
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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