last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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