we're chasing vodka with high fives
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
