Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying