the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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