It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
