Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
