Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...