Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm sorry my penis didn't work

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(913): View more from Kansas

your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

Fav 7 955 2017
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(410): View more from Maryland

He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

True romance of the 21st century.

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(714): View more from California

I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(225): View more from Louisiana

all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.

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(253): View more from Washington

they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.

Fav 21 4108 1022
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(928): View more from Arizona

My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

(308): View more from Nebraska

Pass the awkward sauce please.

(928): View more from Arizona

I'm drowning in it here

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(760): View more from California

Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs

Fav 3 966 572
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(314): View more from Missouri

Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.

Fav 3 24 48
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