im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
