it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I am midnight drunk by noon
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants