Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.