haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?