Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??

(630): View more from Illinois

savin' lives aint cheap

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie

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(618): View more from Illinois

Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(706): View more from Georgia

He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

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(716): View more from New York

she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

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(206): View more from Washington

LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.

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(214): View more from Texas

If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?

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