My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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