it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
