Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
