im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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