Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
