Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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