i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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