WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
