You made me cry and you don't even care
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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