They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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