All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
