im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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