You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize