I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Panties = found
Randomize
