And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
