if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
