Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
