my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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