when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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