Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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