they need to just BURY HIM!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
