So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
