i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize