Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't deserve a penis
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
