No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
