Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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