Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
